Thanks so much for sharing your story. The Bible tells us that we won’t be able to see things the way God sees things. Our perspective is limited and there will be times in our lives that circumstances happen and we will wonder where is God in all of this. He is always right beside us, walking with us through those trying times. Be blessed today and know that His love for you is too high and too deep to be contained.

I can remember very little things of her. I can remember every night after mom would tell us goodnight, sissy holding up the covers and waving me over. I would jump in her bed and fall asleep Me and sissy shared a very tiny room, we had separate beds, but they were pretty close together, the only thing that was keeping the beds apart was a dresser, we had a sort of door it more reminded me of a curtain, you could slide it open and close. I would jump in her bed and fall asleep. I can remember me thinking how old she was, feeling as if she was a grown up. Now thinking on it the age I am now, she was so little. I can remember some of the stuff me sissy and bubba would do when mom and dad weren’t home, we would sword fight with hangers and play hide n seek in the little trailer that we had, I can remember the 4 wheeler ride and me and sissy screaming because a spider was coming down from its web right in front of us. There are very few things I can remember of her but the things I do rember will last forever. The thing I cannot remember is the phone call that was to tell us my sister had passed away, it seems all of the bad things that happened I am unable to remember. I cannot even remember the funeral, however I do remember seeing her at the viewing. I remember thinking how beautiful she was and asking my mom to pick me up to give her a hug while she ws in the casket. She did . to this day I can remember every detail, to the curls on her hair. I was so young unable to really understand all that was happening around me. I can remember pulling into the drive way of our home and turning to my mother begging her to take me back so I could pull her eye lid open because that was what I did to my brother to wake him up. As time went by I had our room to myself, and every morning I would run to my mom saying, “mommy, sissy came and seen me last night!!” every morning I would run and tell her a new and exciting story of my visit. Every morning I would jump out of my bed and run with the biggest smile on my face. One morning, I ran to mom telling her that sissy visited me and she gave me all of her kisses. My mom began to weap, me thinking that she was crying because she gave me all of her kisses I told her “ mom don’t cry, she left some for you too”. As my dreams continued for a while none of them I can really remember as clearly as I do one of them. One morning I woke up, instead of the happy cheerful me I remember me wanting to avoid my mom and of any question about my dream. I was so torn. I can still remember it so clearly. I remember my sissy telling me she had to show me something and brought me to the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It was a forest, the kind you see on fairytails but even better, the sun was shinning through the trees and there were angels everywhere. All of the angels were gathered around the most beautiful log cabbin I had ever seen, it looked as if they were still working on building it. there I also said “mom God was there too” my mom awestruck and has been believeing everything I have been saying she replied “ Jessie what did God look like?” I then replied “ oh mom, I couldn’t see him I just new he was there”. During my dream, my sister picked me up and sat me on a log that was near by, she told me that she isn’t going to be able to visit me any more while I sleep. Even in the dream I still can remember the pain that it caused me. She told me that even though she isn’t going to visit me anymore she said that they are building this house for me, and one day you will be here with me again to live with me. The morning after that dream I was so sad that I wasn’t going to be able to see her again, I tried to avoid my mom about it, not wanting to metion sissy telling me that she wasn’t going to be seing me anymore. I thought my mom would be sad about it like I was. I ended up telling mom about it. Every night after I would hope to see her, but it never did happen. I sometimes would sit up and pray to see her, but even when I would pray it still would not happen. Years later I can remember my dad telling me that he dreamed of her once he said that he was out in an open field looking up at the stars and she came down on a cloud and came to hug him, telling him everything was going to be alright. I can remember my dad telling me that when he was younger he could think about what he wanted to dream about and fall asleep thinking about it and that is what he would dream about. Even this would not work for me. I believe everything has a reason God has a purpose that this happened, one day he will reveal it.

After the book, God said to start The Master’s Prison Ministry.I did, and now the book is being sent into prisons everywhere to inspire men to trust God.
Your book not only inspires one to “begin” to let go, but it has encouraged me to continue,”letting go”.
Thank you Norm.And thank you Peter for allowing me to read Norm’s book.

David Brenn
The Master’s Prison Ministry

Thanks for sharing your story.
It is so cool to hear how you became aware of God’s presence around you after taking an Alpha course.
The amazing thing is that He’s been pursuing you from the moment you were born!
Congratulations on the birth of your child and now you get to extend God’s love towards your baby.

Matt and I thought it’d be fun to go see if the wolves were there. We bundled up looking like bundles of southerners in the snow. We got directions to the final resting place and started plowing our way through the drifts. We saw part of a calf, then another part and lots of tracks but no wolves. There were tracks leading up the trail so we trudged farther. There, up ahead was an old culvert that looked like a perfect wolf-den. “let’s go and see,” matt said. I noticed that I was leading the way, matt way back. I stopped and looked back and said, “How close to stupid are we getting?”

No wolves but we had a wonderful romp through the woods in winter. Matt took some great photos. “you’re doing a great imitation of Joseph Boyden’s Through Black Spruce cover.”

Later that night, we were all sitting around the TV when the dogs started to growl and bark. Nan thought they heard some wolves. “Let’s go and see if the cows are okay,” Scott, Matt and I decided. What do southerners bring on a wolf hunt? Flashlights, of course. Anything else? We weren’t allowed to bring the Shotgun. “You’d shoot your eye out!” was the consensus. The women dubbed us the three stooges, armed with flashlights we got ready. Again, bundled against the snow and the cold, we trudged out into the barn yard.

The night was text-book Northern Ontario–clear and cold. A ring around the moon and northern lights providing illumination for the trek. Flashing our lights into the herd (the cows were content before we got there) we noticed nothing amiss. Oh, the cows started to stir, but only at our presence.

Matt lagged behind, and Scott and I ventured to the far side of the barn. Hearing some commotion from the yard we saw Matt standing amidst the cows. He was agitated, and cows were annoyed with the three stooges in their yard. When Matt finally caught up with us, he and Scott followed tracks across the frozen beaver pond. We all decided that the tracks were fox, not wolf. “If the ice held up a fox, surely it’ll hold us up,” they said to me. I wasn’t quite as convinced; I stood on the bank.

After falling over the fence (wasn’t electric, we discovered) we made for the house. Laurel and Diane came out to see the cold night.

All was well. The cows recovered from the attack of the southern, city-slicker stooges, and the gates were locked.

We had a great time in the snow and the cold. But it struck me that we decided to do something and did it. “How close to stupid are we getting?” Just close enough. “If you want to walk on water, you have to approach stupid,” is my paraphrase. Had we stayed in the house, we’d not seen the northern lights and we’d not annoyed 30 contented cows; playing it safe gets nobody nowhere. Getting out of a boat to walk on water during a storm is, if you really think about it, approaching stupid. But Jesus called Peter to do that.

If 2010 was a year of fretting for me, 2011 will be a year of “approaching stupid.” There are things I’m planning on doing this year that I “shouldn’t”. I’m going to start a small painting company so Matt and I can work. I’m going to pursue going to Kenya and teach (as if I have something to really offer a bunch of Pastors I know nothing about personally or culturally!).

I’m going to approach “stupid” without actually getting there. (I Hope)

Peace, David